Grr. And also Argh.

It's been one of those days. You do something--or several somethings--and it's never enough. You have to do it again, fix this, fix that, then your work's erased and you just plain have to start all over. Don't you just hate that?

Ugh. That's been my day. Sometimes I think hell would be working on a project, then finishing and having someone tell you to fix one thing, you go back, and your project's gone. Over and over and over.

I just had the world's most horrible thought. What if that happened to my BOOK?

I have no words. That's why the whole damn story is backed up on my laptop, my external hard drive, my email account, my thumb drive, and on blogger. Eat that, computer minions.

Speaking of book, it's almost done. ALMOST DONE! Oh, god. I'll keel over with happiness.

I really can't believe it. I'm almost A Novelist. Till now, I've been a struggling writer. Gimme a week, and I'll graduate to someone who actually finished what she started. Egad, Brain.

Okay. I'm back to work. Just had to spaz out for a minute.

On Writing. (To steal Stephen King's title...)

I've been doing quite a lot of reading lately. All of it fully and completely for my own utter amusement, even. It's a big change from college.

I have, also, been doing a proportionately large amount of writing, as well. The combination of these two well-matched pasttimes has led me to a lot of pondering and a lot of digression. A question I just now stumbled into, though, has caught my little fancy, so I thought I would use a public forum to attempt to suss out some sort of answer.

What makes a writer successful in the worldly sense? Further, what is the difference between someone who scrawls magnificence on a page and never gets published and someone who owns an entire shelf at Borders?

I have a few ideas, and so here they are.

Talent. While this may seem to be a given, there is something to be said for it. Granted, some completely talentless morons grace our sacred shelves, but they fall into the next category of people who have...

Connections. Sad, but true. Writing is part of the entertainment business, and like any field in the entertainment business, a good portion is networking and who you know. Thankfully, it isn't entirely necessary to know that all-star author to get a book deal with a good publishing house, but it helps. If someone has the clout, they can get even the biggest POS*** manuscript on the planet read at the very least.

Persistence. Yeah. Stephen King (who I quoted in my title) used to nail every single rejection slip he got on his wall. And yes, he really did get rejected. A lot. It's part of the process. If you want to get published and you have one or the other of the first two qualities, you still will need persistence. Keep on trucking.

Consistency. As I've been thinking about it, this little word--or medium sized word, rather--is absolutely vital for writers with any hope of getting their name in print. Some people have maybe one great effort in them. The best thing you can do to help yourself is to learn to write consistently. Plots that follow logically and rise and fall when they ought to. If you're writing a series, prove you can keep up the pace in multiple books with the same characters. If you write shorter things, prove you can write several very different short stories or articles and do it well. Most publishers want authors or writers who can make them money. If you can prove yourself able to draw in a consistent audience, you'll prove yourself valuable to them, and you'll make money, too.

Humor. Can you laugh at yourself? You sure as hell better. Writers face some of the toughest parts of emotional battles all the time. As humans, we naturally avoid both rejection and criticism. Why? Well, it just hurts so damn much. Writers have to force themselves to do the opposite of what our emotions lean toward. We have to take rejection and criticism in stride, using it to make our writing better and our selves stronger. In theory, it'll pay off in the end.

There are a lot of other things that go into being a sucessful writer, but really, those five are pretty central. If you have some modicum of talent, can network yourself into some good connections, can keep trying, if you can write well on a consistent basis, and if you can do it all with your tongue firmly placed in your cheek, you probably have a decent chance of getting yourself on the shelves or in the journals or magazines, albeit quite possibly with a lisp.

Keep it light. Keep it good. Just keep swimming. You can do it.

***POS: noun. Technical abbreviation--Piece Of Shit

In a blogger mooooood...

Yeah, that's right. I'm definitely in the blogging sort of mood today. Perhaps that is because I'm bored at work, but what else is new?
I had a number of epiphanies today about the world of faith. This is what I figured.
Faith is an intensely personal aspect of someone's life. Whether they be Christian, Muslim, Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, agnostic, atheist, whatever. The point is, NO TWO PEOPLE from any given group of believers or unbelievers look exactly alike. That's because we belong to this silly little group called humanity.
And there is nothing wrong with that.
Each individual is different, regardless of belief system. Because of that, there is no possible way to say that "no true Christian/Muslim/Scientologist/Jew/agnostic/atheist/etc. would do that/think that/believe that." That is a logical fallacy. It's the No True Scotsman argument, and it's fruitless. No fruit there.
Therefore, people have no right to assert that someone else is not a true whatever-they-are.
To be honest, that is what has kept me away from faith for so long--the constant imposition of others' Faith Boxes on me. By that, I simply mean that people have a concept that explains what it looks like to be a person of their faith, a box. And maybe they fit into their own box--maybe not--but they often try to fit others into the same box. And sorry, but it just doesn't work that way.
I will use Christianity as an example because it is the faith system I am most familiar with. Many Christians are conservative. Not all are. The many often try to say that "liberal" Christians are less Christian than they are. Not true. Many Christians believe that Israel needs to be protected by America at all costs. Not all do. Those who don't are accused of...I don't know, not protecting God's chosen people. And are therefore considered less Christian. This, to me, is ridiculous. If someone doesn't believe, obviously they are not a Christian, but if they do...well. To borrow the format with apologies to Tomato Nation's article "Yes, You Are (A Feminist)," this is what I have to say.

Christian
–noun
1.
a person who believes in Jesus Christ; adherent of Christianity.
2.
a person who exemplifies in his or her life the teachings of Christ: He died like a true Christian.

If you believe in Jesus Christ, are an adherent of Christianity, or are a person who exemplifies Christ's teachings in your life, you are a Christian.
Yes, you are.
Christianity does not require your passport, or drivers' license, or a credit card. You can be American, or Israeli, or British, or Bhutanese. You can go to church every Sunday, every Easter, or not at all. You can quote Scripture off the top of your head or not be able to remember where to find John 3:16. You can memorize the entire Bible.
If you believe in Jesus Christ, are an adherent of Christianity, or are a person who exemplifies Christ's teachings in your life, you are a Christian.
Yes, you are.
You can have long hair, short hair, grey hair, no hair. You can hate tattoos or have full-body coverage. You can pierce your ears, pierce your nose, pierce your nipples, or pierce nothing at all. You can cover up all of your skin or run around naked. You can wear make-up or go au naturale. None of that matters.
If you believe in Jesus Christ, are an adherent of Christianity, or are a person who exemplifies Christ's teachings in your life, you are a Christian.
Yes, you are.
You can believe that the world was created in six days, or you can believe in the Big Bang. You can believe whatever you want about evolution. You can believe that once saved, people are always saved, or you can believe that people can lose grace. You can believe Revelation is literal, or you can take it as an allegory. You can sprinkle, or you can dunk, or not believe baptism is necessary at all. You can sing hymns quietly, or not at all, or you can dance around and wave your arms. You can pray in silence, or in solitude, or with hundreds of others. You can believe that you should take the message of Jesus to Timbuktu, Finland, your next-door neighbor, or your own dear self. You can tell everyone you meet or no one.
If you believe in Jesus Christ, are an adherent of Christianity, or are a person who exemplifies Christ's teachings in your life, you are a Christian.
Yes, you are.
You can be pro-life or pro-choice. You can support capital punishment or fight for the lives of those on death row. You can vote Republican, or Democratic, or Green Party, or Libertarian, or not at all, or "that guy has cool hair." You can support universal health care or not. You can support the right to bear arms or not. None of that is important.
You see, it really is that simple. There is always more to it, but the fact is, you may find some people who match up with you on some points, but there will never be a person who agrees with you about everything.

It's such a personal thing. If Christianity or any other religion is a personal relationship between her or him and god, then shouldn't their god be the one to decide who's in the club?

It's been a while.

deleted due to extenuating circumstances.

meaning i was real stupid when i wrote it....kthxbai.

The rain in Poland falls mainly all winter.

Except when it snows. Which it happens to be doing right now, sort of. For the second time only this winter total. Impressive.

I'm sorry I've been such an arse with updating this silly thing since...November. November ended well...Julia went home (which I might have mentioned), and then I settled in for the last few weeks before Christmas. Christmas was spent in spectacular fashion in Inverness, Scotland with some dear friends and more food than is good for any one person to eat in a lifetime. I came back to Krakow for New Years, which involves a lot of crazy stories I don't have the energy to write about here now.

Life in February is good. I just finished all of my papers and exams, and finished them well, if I do say so myself. I got the highest possible mark in my Anthropology of Social Pluralism class, which made me very happy, as it was also a very difficult class worth 8 ECTS points...which is a lot. Finished Polish class with a solid grade as well, in spite of my constant boredness in that class. And the others went swimmingly as well. Am currently trying to find an American History course and a religion course in Polish that CCU will accept so I can fricking graduate. Ha ha.

I miiiiight be having to spend next fall at CCU taking courses to finish...but I sincerely hope not. I want to be done. That and money. Don't have that much of that.

In other news, I am going to Germany on Thursday for a week and a half with my new boyfriend. Yeah, boyfriend. He is from Germany. Really great guy, and I'm rather ecstatic. Anyway, it should be a fun trip, because I will get to see a couple other German friends from last year. Following that adventure, I will meet up with my good friend Jordan in Berlin, and we are going to traipse around Poland for a bit before my second semester begins. A big hurrah for that.

That is about all the biggest news. I think I'm going to go watch Braveheart.

Birthday, Thanksgiving, and JULIA

Hello everyone...I know it's been a while since I posted. I've been busy and our internet has been down, but I think things are finally settling down a bit.
As some of you might know, this girl had a birthday on the 18th. It was a great birthday. We went out to Indian food and then went to a couple bars. So I am officially 22, which is not exciting at all, but the day itself was fun. :)
Probably the biggest thing going on right now is that Julia is here. Julia is one of my best friends, and she came to see me for two weeks before going back to Canada. We've been having a really great time seeing Krakow and playing with my friends. :) On Thursday my friend Iza and I cooked Thanksgiving dinner for 16 people. That was SO much fun. It was a ton of work, but we really did it with no help really. No recipes or anything. It was the best Thanksgiving ever. We had an amazing time cooking and eating, and our German friends made decorations, including two huge paper mache turkeys, which were fabulous. :) All the Europeans were intrigued by this American holiday that generally eludes them most of the time, so they were really excited to see what Americans do.
Julia will be here for about another week, and then I will be getting down to serious business, such as writing a lot of papers. :) Also going to see the Moscow City Ballet perform Swan Lake on the 5th, which has me so excited I could die. I even have a pretty red dress to wear, and there are 12 of us going that night.
In general, things are good. That's about all for this post; I will try to be better with this.

Well, sorry it's been so long since I've posted anything. I am back from Ukraine, obviously. I got back Monday morning. The trip was fantastic. My friend and I had a brilliant time seeing old churches, an opera (Madame Butterfly) and enjoying Ukrainian food.
The week has been pretty good since I got back. Class as usual and all that fun stuff. And the election on Tuesday, which has made me incredibly happy. It's been a long time since I have felt proud of America for anything--and I'm happy that the American people made themselves heard this year. I'm hoping that this will be the beginning of positive change for the country.
I don't often talk about my political beliefs on here, but I think I'll take this moment to mention them. Since Bush came into office, America has truly gone downhill. Most Americans do not want a sectarian government that is based upon the religious views of a vocal minority. I'm one of them. There is a reason for the separation of church and state. Many reasons, actually. I'm tired of seeing discrimination in America when it is supposed to be the country of freedom and opportunity. When people think Muslim, they immediately think "terrorist." It's unfair and regressive.
I recently received a forwarded email message from a friend. The message was bemoaning the "intolerance" toward Christians in America--that they can't have public prayer at football games or say "Merry Christmas" in December. However, it failed to mention the fact that if a Muslim student or a Buddhist student or a Jewish or Hindu or Wiccan or Unitarian student wanted to lead the school in a prayer, there would be immediate outrage. It doesn't mention that December is a month full of holidays for many cultures and traditions; Christmas is only one of them. Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Hogmanay, the Winter Solstice...those are considered holidays by millions of people in America too. Tell me if I'm wrong, but I think fussing over the fact that other people want you to say "Happy holidays" makes the "Christmas spirit" deteriorate. It cheapens it.
Republicans say they want less government, but the conservative agenda wants goverment to regulate what they think should be regulated. People's sexuality. Women's uteruses. Which religious symbols should be "permitted" in government cemetaries. (Currently, the pentagram is prohibited on the tombstones of Wiccans who died in action because it is seen by the WASPs {White Anglo-Saxon Protestants} as "evil".) That is NOT freedom. I'm sorry. Disagree with someone's lifestyle, fine. I don't care. But remember that a good 4 billion or so people on this planet disagree with the Christian lifestyle, too. Get over it.
And immigration? Immigration MADE America. Get over that, too. The problem isn't that they are immigrants--if a bunch of Europeans wanted to move to America, they'd probably be welcome. The fucking PROBLEM is that they have darker skin and are poorer than you are. They might make your lifestyle worse...oh dear. Worst case scenario, you have to eat at Panda Express instead of P.F. Changs. Poor baby. If your financial situation sucked as much as a lot of theirs does and you couldn't afford health care or pay for heat for your family, you'd probably get a little desperate and try to find somewhere you could. Oh, wait. I forgot. 45 million Americans can't afford health insurance either.
My bad.
Ooh, and education. Shall we talk about the $45,000 in loans I will be paying back in a year? Should I even compare that with the fact that my buddies in Europe pay 500 euros per semester for their ENTIRE education? And the fact that tuition prices are rising at about 8% per year? Doubt it. What about the millions of bright Americans who can't go to college because they can't afford it, so they perpetuate the cycle of poverty again unless their kids happen to be fricking geniuses or some kind of sports hero.
Speaking of money, let's talk about Bush's fabulous budget deficit...we get the prize for World's Biggest Debtor Ever. Check that shit out. Six years ago, we were the World's Biggest Surplus Ever. So how many trillions of dollars went down the toilet? Imagine what a few trillion dollars could do if used correctly in this sorry world. I know I will.
Not even going to start on foreign policy.
Oh. But one more thing. If you look at a map of America color coded with the percentage of people who live below the poverty level and compare it with a map that shows America's Native American Reservations, you will notice some rather striking similarities.
Right. So the rich capitalists work for their money. Good for them. Well, my family works their asses off for less than $20,000 a year. So do millions of other Americans. Minimum wage cannot support a family. So you like your Lexus. You like your 3,000 square foot house. Well, pretty sure that guy on the corner isn't too happy with his 4 square foot cardboard box. Yes, this is a guilt trip. You know what I think the real problem in America is? It's a country of greed and selfishness. (So, in a nutshell: blind capitalism.) If the rich in America were willing to give up their yacht so that a few thousand people could eat or so a couple kids could go to college, the world would change.
The problem is, it'll never, ever happen. So I'll keep ranting about it and try to vote for people who will tax the disgustingly rich to pay for health care for people who can't afford it. Yeah, I said that. Maybe it's not their responsibility legally to give a shit, but that excuse is just plain callous. I just can't bring myself to feel sorry if someone has to go from a 2 million dollar income to 1.3 million dollar income. Big fricking deal. Does anyone besides me cringe at the way that sounds? "It is no concern of MINE whether your family has..." "Food?" "Whatever. As long as I get whatever I want, when and how I want it, then you can just go to hell." Stop being so SELFISH. Maybe it's not your responsibility, but you know what? It's human decency. Even animals help each other sometimes. If the rich people of America teamed up and were willing to take a drastic cut in their glittery lives and live like the normal people they keep insisting they are, I have this sneaky feeling that they could probably wipe out world hunger. Or at least wipe out poverty in America. Build schools, roads, homes for people who don't have them, create scholarships, pay for health care. But they won't. Sure they give, but...yeah. I just don't think it's enough. They got lucky in this life. Somewhere along the way, they got rich due to some plain, dumb luck. That doesn't make them more entitled.

Sorry for the ranty digression. And for the language if anyone has sensitive ears. Actually, no I'm not. Those are my opinions, and I'm entitled to them.